ami and sonali- my visit to the two pregnant ladies living in the same building ! For a brief moment, seeing sonali all ballooned up in her 28th week, i got a sense of the nausea i had gone through for a fortnight in my first trimester. The nausea passed over me like a wave and then it was gone. It was strange, my experience of pregnancy was very beautiful. I had been overcome with nausea for a very brief period. And yet, on seeing sonali glow like a lovely glow worm, i was taken back to that phase of discomfort. Odd.
Ami glowed too. But she has to rest, was discharged from hospital yesterday. She had to get a stitch because of a small tear in the uterus. But she was calm, not at all panicky.
For years i was filming friends who were pregnant, in the hope of working towards a film. At some point i stopped because the film was not going anywhere, in my head. After a year, or maybe more, i got pregnant. Everyone asked if i would get back to the film, and for the longest time i did not feel like. But then i began scripting small sequences, as usual in my head. Did not film them, and soon i was ready to burst.
Seeing ami and sonali yesterday made me think about how i see the experience now. The nausea took me by surprise.
Anjum asked ifif was thinking of going back to the film. Her beautiful poem was one the reasons i began thinking about the film. Maybe i should revisit the notes i made, the tapes i shot.
And the sequence that i had thought of - India Coffee house on MG road. Its bright outside, but dusk has set in the restaurant, the lights have not been switched on. I sit alone, waiting for George. I stare at the bright spot that is the door, and then look around at the rest of the tables, dark and busy with murmurs. I rest my belly on the bag in my lap, press it against the edge of the table. The oily cutlet sends uncomfortable fumes, and yet i wolf it down. Dusk begins to settle on the street outside while the tube lights are put on.
This sequence sounds all gloomy only to those who dont know george- or those who dont know that george is always late for every meeting - and waiting is not a strange new experience i went through only in my pregnancy!