Monday, February 13, 2006

Sanah got her first taste of food yesterday. She will be all of six months tomorrow.

Her first step away from me, in a sense. Uptil now she solely subsisted on my milk. Yesterday she had three spoons of dal water. By the end of the week she might be eating a katori full, or more. And soon her meals will substitute breast milk.

I look forward to the feeling of not being so completely responsible. I could not keep her away from me even for an hour, just in case she needed to feed. And yet, it was a sad moment. So much around one spoonful of dal!

Zubin was there. That was lovely, he was witness to the grand occasion. Mummy and papa came over. Mummy fed her. She was pretty eager to get the spoon into her mouth. She made a hilarious face, but did not seem to shocked. Infact i suspect she would have eaten lots more if she had been allowed to. But this was in front of an audience.

Today, when she and i were alone, and i fed her -she made such a face!

Being a parent, a mother pushes one to reflect deeply on just about everything. This entire entry is all around some dal water- with no salt, nothing! And that watery, tasteless, stuff evoked epic level emotions!

Sanah has had a very hectic ten days- she attended MIFF. Watched films, socialised...and socialised! She happily goes to anyone and everyone.And dear George, gives her to everyone- even people we did not know! Well, if i harboured any hopes of being a clingy, possesive mother- i dont stand a chance in front of george.

We missed Geeta's film, but watched it at her party. A party to celebrate her award. The film is exquisite. She has gone leaps and bounds beyond her first film ' Orange'. Sanah responded beautifully to her film, the colour, the music evoked thrilled gurgles from Sanah. And after the film, she sat up on her own. No more crawling like a tadpole. It seems she did that in the morning as well, but i was too stressed out putting down my thoughts for my presentation at the mediascapes seminar. So George did not tell me.

Had a meeting at a channel office today, with Ratna. Sanah goes everywhere else, but can not possibly take her to a channel meeting. Had to ask papa to rush from Kandivali to hold her. He rushed all the way to Parel. Felt pretty shitty- this is not what an independent woman does! As a working mother i should get this kind of stuff sorted. These past two weeks George has been taking care of Sanah everytime i was busy. Carrying her around to Ratna's office, TISS, channel offices, MIFF...Its possible to get back to work only with this kind of support.

Spoke to Bhavana this morning. Vaanya, her little baby, 15 days older than Sanah, called her mama this morning. There was a softness in her voice that made me choke.

Sanah will be all of six months tomorrow. She crawls, sits, stands with support, gurgles... and has begun sleeping buried somewhere in my armpit!


ajay noronha said...

hey sur!..that was beautiful... all you wrote...wished i had come over to witness the momentous event. i tho' am quite looking foward to this phase when you don't feel the need to be around like a good milk cow!!...when i can baby sit!...see you tomorrow! and happy valentines day! what a day to turn 6!!

anjum said...

hi surabhi...was riveted by your blog especially the descriptions of Sanah being born. Really hope you revisit your pregnancy film some day or does the real thing make a 'representation' seem futile?

Batul said...

Sanah is gorgeous. Happy weaning.

Mukul said...

how lovely yaar.

anja said...

i'm pregnant with my first and felt my eyes tear up over your blog. i love the way you write. i feel pretty special to be carrying a life around in my belly, i still can't quite believe it, even when i see the baby squirming around in a sonogram bums and all!! is that really inside me? what a gift, what an amazing thing it is. i've toyed with the idea of making a film on motherhood myself for a long time and now that i'm in feels too personal to do anything with it.i hope you make yours. good luck with everything. sanah is a lovely baby=)