Friday, December 29, 2006

i shall walk on my own -part 2

i sit groggily reading drivel in bombay times or was it mumbai mirror ( or was it TOI?)

she rolls out her massage mat. ( i massage her maybe once a fortnight/month now). the little nudist sits on the mat waiting patiently. i cast a sidelong glance ,she looks like she is ready to take off on her magic carpet. so yet another waving goodbye to me? i am happy. she has found the world of fantasy without any introduction from me. great.

her patience wears out and she scowls at me. she rubs her body and waits. i look on. she shouts, points to the bathroom door( behind the door lies the fragrant tulu herbal massage oil). oh, i get it. she wants a massage. ( i thought she had forgotten all about it because its been a while since ehr last massage). i go back to the drivel hoping she will get distracted. no, i am to respond pronto!

i scurry like the slave that i am.

i used the massge to teach sanah the names of body parts. stupid me. i began with her arms today, not her tummy as i usually do. not acceptable. basically the rest of the massage wasosely directed by madam herself. i could not use my will- it had to be hers. tummy first, then the back, then the arms-no no no not the legs first, after the head. okay now we are done- stop it- she gets up and leaves.

i had thought very soon i would take her to the top of a hill/ multistoreyed building and teach her to fling her arms towards the skies and say' i am the master of the universe'. i had thought i would reluctantly teach her that she is master of her will at 18 ? na, 21? na later? instead i say good bye to my will/ independence/ decision making....

i guess i can remain a control freak only while filming ( beware my beloved crew)

1 comment:

Anita and Amit said...

oh, so you've met hitler, have you? ;) soon you'll be longing for the Days of Yore when you were in charge. wait till she turns two and a little more. that's when the tantrums will start and you'll wonder what hit you! nayana doesn't like amit using my clothes / slippers. to her it's a sign that the universe is cracking up; its coordinates going berserk. so she insists he take the tee off, even crying if need be, and then siddles up to me with this, 'phew! i saved the world for us,' look and smile of relief. thot it'd be a good moment to talk about 'sharing' and had a full-fledged tantrum to deal with! it's now a banned word in this house, you may say 'give' but NOT 'share'! i love every minute - especially watching her establish territorial rights all over :D and i also miss her babyness every day!