Friday, July 13, 2007

jumping the gun

yesterday i dreamt of a baby- the sweetest dumpling ever.

my friends are thinking of adopting a baby. this little dumpling was their baby. in the dream, they had broken down all their walls, japanese screens marking the seperate rooms. so the house was filled with beautiful light, and breeze. and the three of us, my friends and me, were squabbling over whose turn it was to hold the baby. the baby's face was so clear in my head when i woke up. i called my friends eager to tell them that i had already met their baby.

i had jumped the gun. i never dreamt of my baby through my pregnancy. maybe once when i saw her face, and knew she was a girl. but mostly if there was a baby in my dream , it was an amorphous entity, referred to as the baby. the baby was not defined as a real person. what was defined was the excitement, the anxiety, and loads and loads of practical things- common was the dream that the baby has arrived and our cartons remain unopened( we had just moved cities, two months before the baby), or that the baby was hungry and i realise that there is no food. i think the worst dream was when i realise that i had forgotten to give food to the baby for two whole days!!! you dont need freud to analyse the sheer terror in that dream - terror that i would not be able to take care of my own baby, worse that i would forget about her!

and those anxieties, panic attacks are what would be lurking in the heads of my friends. and here i was dreaming of this dumpling with multiple hands clamouring to hold her.

this is a dream from the outside.

i wonder what dreams my friends have had.

3 comments:

anja said...

hey hey should have known we had something in common, so you've lived thru the jeroo effect too? what a small world..but seriously i love the impact jeroo had on my life those thursday afternoon screenings of movies from ftii were life changing...Thumki is going to be a year old! WTF? Where did awhole year go? I will post, thanks for the kind thoughts..Your dream post inpires me to post on the dreams i had when i was pregnant will get to it at naptime, which this bacchaa is fighting these days..sigh..

Tharini said...

Very interesting. I can relate to such dreams too...I dreamt of my friend's baby boy when he was still unborn and saw his face so clearly, and he looked nothing like the dream. :)

Congratulations to your friends. They must be so excited...

SUR NOTES said...

the jeroo effect is lovely! yes, the thursday screenings are all that i remember from that one year!

tharini, shall tell my friends that i am not only the crazy dreamer! : )