its been rankling me,but i let it pass. but because there have been a lot of posts by mommy bloggers on articles abouts parents from hell, read new age parenting, i let the rankling get the better of me.
so beware: its a rankling induced post!
a couple of weeks back a journalist doing an article on motherhood had called. she had her premise in place- the professional, social, economic lives of women perish when they become mothers. and there must surely be severe resentment about the fact. every question of hers and every answer of mine were pretty much at cross purposes.
but that did not get my goat.
at some point i mentioned how most of my friends do not have kids, and for most its a choice they have made. ah ha, she latched on. so why do you think they dont have kids, why have they taken that decision, you think they are too self centered and unwilling to allow the changes in their lives that a child will bring....
hey hey hey, i said. its a choice they have made because of a variety of reasons. being fully wrapped up in their writing/films/art/teaching, does not translate to being selfish and self centered. and not having kids does not mean that these are child hating adults. and, i added, do try your best to not latch onto easy and empty generalisations.
but thats what these articles are. easy generalisations, or worse, taking some extreme case and spinning a broad generalisation around it.
easy to imagine what article she would have written, professionals who no longer want to make the time to have or care for children. any layered understanding of the choices people make would be reduced to this one premise. too busy for kids.
ofcourse, you cannot question the premise that having kids is the default option!so the fact that i chose to have a kid is the 'normal', 'logical' thing to do. and if she/he chose not to, then something is wrong- they did not find a partner, they cant make babies, they are selfish, etc etc etc etc etc.
so the choices my partner and i negotiate are reduced to 'normal and logical'. all the cracks and creases are cleared out.
and they, the fact that they give more of themselves to their work than you can when you are responsible for another being, is air brushed into being self centered.
parenting seems to be the hot hot topic. parenting and affairs. i read a couple of articles EVERYDAY in the newspaper about parenting and affairs, and ofcourse how to eat, what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat, and ofcourse what to feed your child and what to feed your lover.
but it does fit in, food and sex/procreation, those are the main preoccupations of the human race. so why should newspapers restrict themselves to news gathering, and analysis.
bring on the articles on evil parents, and how to go into/deal with/hide/come out of affairs. and lets reduce the no confidence vote to a betting bonanza.