Thursday, June 09, 2011

Lest you think I am cosy and comfortable...

Dipali tagged me to list five things I learnt from parenthood. I did the tag.

So though I have learnt many good things, there is other stuff that spills over from the messy closet.

Especially hours after I waved as the train rolled out of the platform, carrying in its iron belly my child and her father. Yes, they are off on a 26 hour journey. An adventure for them.

What I have learnt from motherhood* ...
1. To be possessive like hell. I wanted to bawl and say please forgo the adventure and stay back with boring, busy old me.

2.To do what millions of mothers have done over millions of generations - use culinary skills to keep the child perpetually connected. Yes, I am ashamed to say an egg biryani was cooked at 7 a.m. along with other stuff so that my presence wafts through their bags and them.

3.Emotional blackmail. I bought her a cheap snakes and ladder board at the platform. She got down to playing it with her father the moment they settled into their berths. I begged her to come to the door to say bye. She said she would say bye there and then so she could get on with the game, I said the worst Nirupa Roy dialogue, "Pehli baar teri ma kuch maang rahi hai etc etc." Yes, they waved bye to me from the door. I was weepy and felt very 70s hindi filmish.

4. To get the father to feel sorry for me, and how to shamelessly milk it. She called nonchalantly and said, "I dont like the egg biryani." Ok, I said, quite effortlessly, just dig out the egg and eat it. "Ok," she said with little resistance. It was a straightforward interaction for both of us. Five minutes later i got a burst of messages, She is wolfing down the Biryani, I dont think I will get anything, dont know what she was talking about to you etc... etc... etc... Its okay i messaged back, wanting to sound very martyrish. He is a film studies freak but did not watch the films in the 70s in the freakish way I did. There is no match here, i reign supreme.

5.Be a control freak. I sincerely believe that I know it all and that they dont. So I have packed every item with instructions. I know they did not listen. So now I will have to call, message, instruct, repeat, call, message and round and round the altar of the control freakish mother goddess.

*motherhood instead of parenthood, I grudgingly add that these are some gender specific learnings that I am not very proud of. Though there are many men who have mastered all of the above except the learning to control through food bit. ( I might recant tomorrow, but for now I am too miserable to care)


Banno said...

Egg biryani! Now, that's devious.

Choxbox said...

Could not help smiling.

imagine what must have happened when the child waltzed off alone to Mumbai and back. Oh well.

dipali said...

There there, Sur! When do they return?
*Heaves a sigh of relief that Sur is as senti as the next woman!*